The Origin Story of the Grief Medicine Rituals

I had never known what a grief ritual was were it not for my dear friend and fellow grief ritual leader, Ken Breniman. I attended his ritual in Oakland in 2013 and was amazed at the level of heart and connection that Ken created in our time together. Ken brought a lot of emphasis to the power of being attuned to our bodies while experiencing grief. I remember feeling a blanket of shame in talking about my grief in a circle being lifted off of me and gently replaced with care, connection, and kinship with the others who were there. Here is a link to learn more about Ken, and a link to learn about one of the inspirations from Ken’s work, Antonio Sausys.

A year later I attended a grief ritual with the late Sobonfu Somé at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA. Sobonfu shared the story of how she became a ritual leader for grief work and why she brought it to the West. She was passionate about healing the toxicity of our western culture through grief rituals. She came from the lineage of the Dagara People of Burkina Faso and had been doing grief work since the 1980’s. You can learn more about Sobonfu Somé here.

In 2017, after attending a workshop that Francis Weller gave after the devastating fires that swept through northern Northern California, I began to study with him. I then attended one of his rituals at the Mercy Center in Burlingame, CA in 2018. His ritual was influenced by the lineage of the Dagara People as he studied with the late Malidoma Somé in the 80's & 90’s. Here is a link to learn more about Francis Weller and here is a link to learn more about Malidoma Somé.

The grief rituals that I co-facilitate today continue to be influenced by the work of Francis Weller, and in effect, his mentor, Malidoma Somé, and his community of the Dagara People of Burkina Faso. These rituals are also influenced and inspired by the grief facilitators I’ve met on my path including Sobonfu Somé and Ken Breniman. I am also in an ongoing peer-led support group for grief ritual facilitators to learn and support one another in this work.

I hold immense reverence and gratitude for the Dagara People who brought their grief rituals and framing of grief work to the West and also acknowledge how the rituals I help to co-facilitate have been modified to adapt to the modern times. I acknowledge the messiness of leading grief rituals inspired by African Culture that originates from Burkina Faso, one of the poorest countries in the world. I also hold this with the complexity in knowing that Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé felt this work was desperately needed for the West, and that I was given permission by Malidoma Somé to lead grief rituals. As someone who values engaging in difficult conversation as a path towards growth on the individual and collective level, I humbly welcome any inquiry or feedback that you may have about the grief work I do.

These rituals are also deeply influenced by all of my teachers. From those who have taught me how to hold space and center safety, to connect with the living land and ecosystems in which we are a part of, from working with trauma in our bodies, and those who spread awareness of systems of oppression, domination and how they show up in therapy spaces, and the teachers who taught me how to utilize the healing power of expressive arts. Thank you to all of the teachers who have touched my life: Francis Weller, Manuela Mischke-Reeds, Karen Rachels, Sarah Powers, Mary Paffard, Sharon Blackie, Abby Tucker, the late Wes “Scoop” Nisker, Aki Hirota Baker, Sarah Lotus Garret, Kathleen Brown, Anin Utigaard, and the late Natalie Rogers. I am forever grateful to you for your teachings.